


Purple is for Calm

by Meatball42



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: CBT therapy, Gen, Post-Canon, The healing power of a good therapist, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-04 01:14:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20462615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meatball42/pseuds/Meatball42
Summary: Dudley Dursley gets CBT therapy.





	Purple is for Calm

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reeby10](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reeby10/gifts).

> [This is a short video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umeicApyjug) about CBT therapy for anger, in case anyone is interested. The gist of it is questioning our interpretation of events, which can be called 'reality checking.'

“And that prig, the one in the corner cubicle that I’ve told you about? Stuffy Smith? He had this massive client on the hook and they accepted _ his _ proposal for their new building site. So what does he do? He invites the whole team out for drinks. It’s so smarmy I can’t stand it.”

Eliza’s eyebrows went up as Dudley squeezed the arms of the chair until they creaked. Noticing her reaction, Dudley relaxed his hands and grabbed one of the scraps of rag she kept in a box by the chair for him. “Sorry, he said.

The rag went _ rriiippp. _

Dudley’s therapist smiled. “Good job. Is it fair to say that you’re feeling frustrated by this colleague, Smith, by his attitude?”

“I want to run over and smash his computer. I want to wait til everyone’s gone after work and piss all over his desk.”

The rag let out a large sound as Dudley’s thick fingers rent it in two again.

“Congratulations on your restraint,” Eliza said calmly. “What has kept you from doing these things?”

Dudley took a deep breath, then a few more. The dark red tone to his face lightened slightly and his fingers stopped straining the weave of the rag.

“Just that I knew… I wouldn’t want to after I talked with you,” he admitted. “You always make the usual way of doing things sound stupid.”

“Glad to be of service,” Eliza joked. Dudley snorted. “Now, what do we do?”

Dudley screwed up his face as he thought. “Figure out… what did somebody do that made me feel like this. Figure out what I’m feeling and what I want to do. Then… test my thoughts.”

“Good!” Eliza praised him. She took her notepad off the table. Upside down, Dudley could see her make a big check plus. He sat up straighter.

“Smith acted all smug that he won the contract. That made me mad. And… maybe it made me jealous?” he said tentatively. “And that made me want to show him that he’s not as good as he thinks he is. So I glared at him all through the staff meeting and took the last of the meatloaf in the canteen before he could get any. But I didn’t break anything of his!” he hurried to say.

Eliza nodded patiently.

“Okay.” Dudley concentrated hard on the maroon rug, screwing up his eyes. “I… interpreted… that Smith was smug because he invited everyone out to drink, and told Marcie that it wasn’t much work at all. But… maybe he’s just trying to look good to Marcie? She is pretty fit. And maybe he’s bad with women, so drinks for the team is the only way he could get her to go out with him!”

He waited eagerly for Eliza’s response.

She nodded slowly. “That’s certainly one possibility. Can you think of another?”

Dudley frowned. “Alright. Erm… He could have said it wasn’t much work to look good to Mr. Lewiston… and invited everyone out… because he wants them to like him?” he reasoned slowly.

“Another possibility,” Eliza said approvingly. “With these new ideas, what do you think you ought to do about the situation?”

“You’re going to say withdraw, aren’t you,” Dudley grumbles. “You always say withdraw from angry situations.”

“I don’t always!” Eliza put a hand on her collarbones, faux-offended.

“You mostly do,” Dudley pointed out with a laugh. “I feel like a hare, as often as you tell me to run away.”

“Controlling your emotions isn’t running away, Dudley.”

“I know, I know. Fine, I should just go out with the team and enjoy free drinks and stop glaring at the wanker.”

“I think that’s a very mature response,” Eliza told him with a firm nod.

Dudley sighed and threw the remains of the rag in his lap down into the mostly-empty bucket there for that purpose. “I hate being mature. Beating people up is much more fun.”

“Do you want to work on the other part today?”

Dudley stared at his hands for a while. “I don’t think it’s too complicated this time,” he came out with eventually, quietly. “My dad did the same thing. It just seems normal. No hidden triggers or weird forgotten memories. My mum actually did it too,” he realized suddenly, “with the neighbors and her garden competitions. If someone else seems like they're doing better than you, you've got to show them who's really on top. Or show anyone else who saw. You can't look like you're a loser.”

“You’ve internalized one reaction to seeing other people ‘win,’” Eliza summarized, “and one set of responses to that. But what do we say?”

“We don’t have to repeat the patterns of the past,” Dudley recited dutifully. “We are intelligent and powerful and we can create our own paths.”

He looked back at Eliza quickly, acting like he hadn’t been reading it off the framed quote on the wall, but she was grinning.

“Very good. You’ve done well today, Dudley. I’m proud of you for restraining your impulses and waiting until our session to discuss your feelings.”

Dudley smiled. “Do I get a lolly?”

“You can have a lolly, or…” She went over to her desk and pulled a small tin out of a drawer. “I baked a fruit cake last night. Apricots and currants. You can have a slice of that instead if you like.” She looked up in time to catch him wrinkling his nose. “I’ll have you know, my colleagues fight over slices of this cake! You’re very lucky to have an early shot at it!”

“Alright, I’ll take one,” Dudley laughed. “Thank you.”

Dudley nibbled on the fruitcake and continued chatting with his therapist, and felt overall like he was in a good place.


End file.
